WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why don’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian cats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course, isn’t a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Caller ID

God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He?

Isn't it amazing how God works in our lives!

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.

The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why shehadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.

The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer." The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.

The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed,
'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.'

At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"

The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!

Other Lessons for today:
Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and Jesus will be there.

Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

I am back - BUSY me

Well well here I am. WOW I havn't blogged in forever!!
Almost a year now WOW! Well I am back now... Now that I have figured out my new account hehe I am back on track!

I've been so busy with work and church and all, that I barely have time for these kinds of things!! Well now that I am back to my old translation coordination/revision desk, I can at least update my blog every so often. So for all of my faithful fans who have missed me well here I am ! Hehe

Now just an aside note because I can't finish this without saying something about God's power. He has been doing wonderful things in my life that I cannot even describe. It would take me every second of every day to even start drafting these blessings! Since I was just talking about being busy, I remembered something a friend once said, that busy means
Being
Under
Satan's
Yoke... It struck me and you know what it's true! Most of the time we are so busy with outside things, work, church, families, activities, going out blah blah blah that we tend to forget to spend time alone in meditation, with God. We forget to give him thanks for His blessings, we forget why we are living here altogether!

Now during a brakeup with a loved one, havn't you ever heard your mom or friend say: "oh just keep yourself busy and you'll forget about him/her." Well, coincidence? Nah... I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in the power of God, and I believe that we cannot permit ourselves to keep busy too much and forget about him because we won't be able to attain that wonderful power!!

Well just a thought. Enjoy the posts-to-come!!
God bless you all!