The Battle is the Lord's

WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN

2007-06-08T12:16:00.001-07:00

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why don’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian cats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course, isn’t a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Caller ID

2007-06-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

God works in mysterious ways, doesn't He?

Isn't it amazing how God works in our lives!

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone.

The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why shehadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night.

The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer." The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.

The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed,
'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.'

At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"

The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!

Other Lessons for today:
Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and Jesus will be there.

Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

I am back - BUSY me

2007-06-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

Well well here I am. WOW I havn't blogged in forever!!
Almost a year now WOW! Well I am back now... Now that I have figured out my new account hehe I am back on track!

I've been so busy with work and church and all, that I barely have time for these kinds of things!! Well now that I am back to my old translation coordination/revision desk, I can at least update my blog every so often. So for all of my faithful fans who have missed me well here I am ! Hehe

Now just an aside note because I can't finish this without saying something about God's power. He has been doing wonderful things in my life that I cannot even describe. It would take me every second of every day to even start drafting these blessings! Since I was just talking about being busy, I remembered something a friend once said, that busy means
Being
Under
Satan's
Yoke... It struck me and you know what it's true! Most of the time we are so busy with outside things, work, church, families, activities, going out blah blah blah that we tend to forget to spend time alone in meditation, with God. We forget to give him thanks for His blessings, we forget why we are living here altogether!

Now during a brakeup with a loved one, havn't you ever heard your mom or friend say: "oh just keep yourself busy and you'll forget about him/her." Well, coincidence? Nah... I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in the power of God, and I believe that we cannot permit ourselves to keep busy too much and forget about him because we won't be able to attain that wonderful power!!

Well just a thought. Enjoy the posts-to-come!!
God bless you all!

Where’s YOUR balloon?

2006-07-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

It’s always nice to see a child holding tight to their birthday balloon… until there attention is shifted to the other toys around or their focus is momentarily changed and… oops… there goes the balloon, straying way up in the air, very far off from the child’s arm… It only takes a split second of inattention to lose sight of God’s promises…

That’s why it is so crucial that we always stay grounded… We cannot become like the helium balloon of a careless child that floats into the sky and get tossed around by the wind to be cast far far away… Our balloon needs to stay attached to the arm of God. It must rise up and never float away. It needs to always be there, close to the spirit of the Lord, to be filled again by His mighty power and love.

Psalm 139:9-10
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Ephesians 4:14
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.

No Time

2006-05-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease...

All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God! held a book;
It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"

SFJTD Box

2006-05-15T06:17:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.

If the devil happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFJTD (something for Jesus to do) box. It will be addressed in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, DO NOT hold onto it or attempt to remove it. Holding on or removal will delay the resolution of your problem.

If it is a situation that you think you are capable of handling please consult me in prayer to be sure that it is there proper resolution.

Because I do not sleep nor do I slumber, there is no need for you to lose any sleep.

Rest my child. If you need to contact me, I am only a prayer away.

My First Tool Box

2006-02-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

Well a little before Christmas time (after the exam session) I decided to go to IKEA and buy some new furniture for my room. This resulted in the most fun bonding experience with my dad, full of renovation, furniture moving, but especially... Lots of assembling!!!

As we opened box after box, I accumulated a bunch of screws and 'tools' so I began to start my own little toolbox.

This weekend, I received the greatest gift of all... My own REAL toolbox! YYEYY!
My dad bought me a hammer, three screwdrivers, some kind of pliers (not sure of the English name) and a little screw box.

Thanks Daddy now I can't wait to start fixin' & buildin'!

It's Christmas???

2005-12-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

Wow I can't believe it!
The year has gone by
like a twinkle of the eye...
Vite vite vite!!!

I feel like I just started my 3rd year in University, and it's already gone! If it weren't for the abundant snow, the Christmas decorations and the overly-stressed population, I wouldn't have a clue as to what is going on!

Well even though I am not really in a ''Christmas mood'', I still appreciate and try to ultimately remember the exact 'reason for the season'.

It's been a year since my baptism,
and the trials just keep coming!
But it's all good because I have Him in me!
Even though the enemy pushes hard, I know I've got the victory!

Well anyways let's stop the rhyming and get back to business...
I decided to write this not only to wish everyone a Merry Merry Christmas, but also to let everyone remember the reason for our CHRISTmas.

It's sad to me that these holliday seasons have become so ''commercialized''. With Easter, these two remarkable events have gone to such an extreme that people all over the world start to actually think nothing else than Christmas=gifts/Easter=chocolate eggs...

Well maybe some day we will all see the truth accordingly...
As much as I am sad,
I rejoice and I am glad!
Even though we are blinded by the enemy's snares,
(because ''the spirirt says that in later time some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons''
(1 Timothy 4:1) --- Jesus takes care of you and me

And that is why we should not only offer gifts to our loved and not-so-loved ones, but also offer gifts to God daily - Jesus said that ''if anyone should come after (me), he must deny himself and take up his cross DAILY and follow (me).'' (Luke 9:23)

So in this season let us not forget that it is truly because of Jesus that we receive all these ''gifts'' - the symbole of Jesus' birth is one of the most powerful, since it leads us to the time ahead: what He did for us on the cross.

Let us always remember that ''all this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 'The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel' - which means, 'God (is) with us'.'' (Matthew 1:22,23)

Merry CHRISTmas everyone and have a wonderful new year, hoping that you choose to live it lovingly and wisely, always keeping your eyes on the prize: the kingdom of heaven is at hand, ''repent and believe in the good news!'' (Mark 1:15)

Letter From JESUS

2005-11-01T08:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

How are you? I just had to send a note to tell you how much I care about you.

I saw you yesterday as you were talking with your friends. I waited all day, hoping you would want to talk with me too. I gave you a sunset to chase your day and a cool breeze to rest you - and I waited. You never came. It hurt me - but I still love you because I am your friend.

I saw you sleeping last night and longed to touch your brow so I spilled moonlight upon your face. Again, I waited, wanting to rush down so we could talk.

I have so many gifts for you! I try to tell you in the blue skies and in the quiet green grass. I whisper it in leaves on the trees and breathe it in the colors of flowers. I shout it to you in mountain streams and I give the birds love songs to sing. I clothe you with warm sunshine and perfume the air with nature sounds. My love for you is deeper than the ocean and bigger than the biggest need in your heart.

Ask me! Talk with me! Please, don't forget me. I have so much to share with you! I have choosen you and I will wait for you.

I love you.

Your bestest friend,

Jesus

I don't know about you, but I do hear Jesus telling me these things. When the day is packed with other thoughts, we tend to forget about the most important things, and the most important person, our creator God. Thank God we have Jesus to remind us of what He daily does for us, because we sure forget fast when the TV goes on and homeworks take all the time of day... then for sure we need the rest of our busy life to sleep... and again procrastinate to pray. Eventually Jesus is just the name of the guy in the movie 'He Got Game'... just name, just name.

I will never forget what He's done for me.
His blessings overwhelm my life daily.
Oh I wish everyone could find,
this amazing peace of mind...
That only Jesus brings,
until He comes back and rings-
On our door-
Will you be ready? Ready to say Jesus, it's only YOU I adore!

I will never forget His blessings, His mercy,
His love and the hope He gives me.
Because when everything in this world disappears,
all that will be left is God almighty!

A Ray of Hope & Promise

2005-10-31T15:41:00.000-08:00

Here are some inspirational quotes found in this little book
(Silver Linings, A Ray of Hope & Promise, by Sara M. Hupp)

'Whatever comes, let's be content withall:
Among God's blessings there is no one small.'
- Robert Herrick

'When things get rough, remember:
It's the rubbing that brings out the shine.'
- E. C. McKenzie

'Weeping may endure for a night,
but joy cometh in the morning.'
- Psalm 30:5 (KJV)

'Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.'
- Harriet Beecher Stower

'In a thousand trials, it is not just five hundred of them that
work ''for the good'' of the believer,
but nine hundred and ninety-nine, plus one.'
- George Mueller

Imagine if a man...

2005-10-31T15:33:00.000-08:00

Imagine if a man you loved just whispered in your ear
'My beautiful, my pretty one, you're so sweet my dear'
If he would talk to you in the Ancient Latin tongue
To show you you're the one:

'Oculi tui sunt pulchriores sideribus caeli, mea puella;
es gracilis et bella, ac oscula sunt dulciora vino:
semper amemus sub luce lunae!'

(Your eyes are more beautiful than the stars
in the sky, my girl; you are slender and charming,
and also your kisses are sweeter than wine:
let us love forever under the light of the moon!)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Yeah, I wish I could say this happenned to me...
But even so, I do believe that day dreams can become real... Only time will tell!

God IS In Control!!

2005-09-20T11:32:00.000-07:00

Moments

Happy moments, Praise God

Difficult moments, Seek God

Quiet moments, Worship God

Painful moments, Trust God

Every moment, Thank God

(Author unknown)

May God bless you all as you focus on these thoughts and never forget that God IS In Control!!!

He Chose the Nails

2005-09-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

Anyone of you know the author Max Lucado?
This inspirational writer has written books such as Next Door Savior, He Still Moves Stones, A Love Worth Giving, etc.

Well now you're invited to a powerful, inspirational, presentation from Max Lucado. It's a vivid, emotional reminder of Christ's work for us on the cross.
Just visit: http://www.hechosethenails.net and click on ''view the presentation''.

Be sure to turn the volume up a bit and be quick to read! Read all of it until the end because it is definitely worth it!

GOD GIVES YOU...

2005-09-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

If you ever wonder if what God gives you is enough to go through each day, read this and you will see for yourself that God sends prosperity in many ways...

GOD GIVES YOU...

Enough Happiness
to keep you sweet...

Enough Trials
to keep you strong...

Enough Sorrows
to keep you human...

Enough Hope
to keep you happy...

Enough Failure
to keep you humble...

Enough Success
to keep you eager...

Enough Friends
to give you comfort...

Enough Wealth
to meet your needs...

Enough Enthusiasm
to look forward...

Enough Faith
to banish depression...

and Enough Determination
to make each day a better day!

(Author Unknown)

Seven Wonders of the World

2005-09-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

My dad's friend found this somewhere on the internet. Very thought-provoking.

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:

1. To See
2. To Hear
3. To Touch
4. To Taste
5. To Feel
6. To Laugh
7. And to Love.

"The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous! A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

Work VS Prison

2005-09-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

(This is too funny to let it pass by unread!!!)

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 desk cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family on the phone.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deducttaxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers...

Have a Great Day at WORK - I'm going to PRISON!!!

When I say... ''I am a Christian'' - Maya Angelou

2005-08-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean living."

I'm whispering "I was lost,"

Now I'm found and forgiven!

When I say..."I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble

and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed

and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible but,

God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain,

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not holier than thou,

I was just a simple sinner

Who received God's good grace, somehow.

Author- Maya Angelou

The importance to verify your orthograph

2005-08-26T06:11:00.000-07:00

This is why it is very very very important to always verify your orthograph... unless you can waste your time writing like this!

The importance to verify your orthograph

« I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt. »

"Olny a siputd prseon wluod tkae the tmei to go troughh taht erexsice".

LOOOOOOOOL this is too funny and really cool!

Dancing With God - Guidance

2005-08-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

A little while ago, my brother and his girlfriend saw this in someone else's blog. They thought I might find it interesting and thought-provoking. I did! (THANKS GUYS! :)
So I thought you might also find it interesting and thought-provoking.

It can also be found at the address of the original blog: http://kcjlane.blogspot.com/ - a blog worth visiting!

Dancing With God - Guidance

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the backor by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i"."God, "u" and "i" "dance."God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead. My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life. Prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive. There is no cost but a lots of rewards; so let's continue to pray for one another. I hope you dance...and let Him lead!

Barbershop Philosophy

2005-08-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

For this first blog, I though I might retell a story I once read, about God and a barberhop philosophy.

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said:
"Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say."
"Why do you say that?" -- asked the client.
Well, it's easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain. I can't think of a God who permits all of thesethings."

The client stopped for a moment to think but he didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the barber shop he saw aman in the street with long hair and a beard (it appeared that it had been a long time since this man had his hair cut and he looked so untidy).

Then the client again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber:
You know what? Barbers do NOT exist."

"How come they don't exist?"-asked the barber.
"I am here and I am a barber."
"No!" - the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beards like that man who walks in the street."

"Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the client. "That's the point. God DOES exist, what happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him that's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world." God does exist!

Sometimes I wonder why people make such a big deal out of God's existence.
When you begin to realize the truth, life becomes simpler. Material things don't matter as much and relationships are kept simple. Simple is the way to go.

''When you put God at the center, everything comes together.'' Tha is my philosophy. The battle IS the LORD'S... and once you try accepting it, and putting all things before God, life just flows and is better enjoyed.

Life is all about choices. It took me 21 years to learn that. Every action is dependent on YOUR choices. Whether they be good or bad. No one can force you to choose. If there is ONE thing people cannot take away from you, it's your freedom to choose.

And I chose to live my life with Jesus by my side. Instead of daily ignoring His calls, I embrace His love.

God DOES exist. And I am the living proof!
The Battle IS the Lord's... I let Him fight MY battles... That is why I always win :P